Boss school

Just like that song: "We're all going to Nude School." Or as Jamie pointed out: "You're going to boss school? To learn to be the boss of ME?" Yes, it's true, I have ONE (1) staff member, and in token of this, I am off to be Management Trained.

Surprise! One (1) hour into it and I'm fighting to stay awake. What really gets me homicidal is the utter, flaccid sourcelessness of the material. Our facilitator (ugh) describes it as "generic". "Folk wisdom" would be nearer the truth.

This generica has all the sterility of urban legend, in that everything sounds plausible enough, but nothing is ever attributed. "There was this Japanese corporation which did this COOL thing..." What's more, it performs exactly the same pedagogic function as urban myths and celebrity jokes. The moral of every little anecdote is the same: "Conform, or die."

So much assertion, taken on faith. "Never in history have people had to cope with so much change," our facilitator proclaims. "Everything's changing. Who could have predicted Netscape? Pyramidal structures can no longer cope..."

"Umm," I said. Dumb, I know. So sue me. "Change is a constant. The stock market has overheated plenty of times before, right back to the South Sea Bubble. This is all just pop-psych millennialism..." Silence and frostiness all around. "Oops. Sorry. Shall I shut up now?"

Our Facilitator fixes me with his beady eye. "I bet you can't name me one successful pyramidal structure that hasn't had to change over the last 30 years..."

"The Church of Scientology," I say. BAD answer. O.F. looks away in disgust. What's the bet he's done the Forum? It's no accident that Werner Erhardt, ex-Scientologist, made his fortune in management consulting. As my friend Wendy used to say, I only ever open my mouth to change feet...

Thursday, 22 May 1997
Raze | Re Raze | Pre Raze