Staying Friends: Our Experts Ask Why?

Spring is here, and in its wake many relationships are turning to limited-scale nuclear exchanges to settle their differences. In the interests of world peace, Raze offers this handy cut-out-and-keep script for use when Talking To Your Ex.

A: Salutation!
B: Acknowledgement.
A: Enquiry?
B: Effusive praise of new partner!
A: Cute story about pet.
B: My Job/Course/Religion Is Incredibly Hard!
A: Sympathy!
B: Self-pity!
A: Distraction! Aren't all our mutual friends silly?
B: Hearty agreement.
Pregnant pause.
Unison: We Must Talk Again, Real Soon, No This Time We Mean It.

Tuesday, 26 August 1997. So, why do it to yourself? I don't know! Maybe I'm insane!
Raze | Re Raze | Pre Raze